According to chemistry, alcohol IS a solution.
|—||wisdom of confucius (via ghostdildo)|
homophobia is stupid. who the hell is afraid of homes
[in the doctor’s office]
“it’s my expert opinion we need to remove all your bones”
"what?! wait, you’re not my doctor"
*a bunch of dogs fall out of the lab coat and run away*
one time when i had just started dating, a boy came to our door to take me out on a date and my stepdad opened the door with a machete like “WHATCHYA WAN BOI” and i never heard from him again which sounds dramatic but my stepdad looks like
GUYS STOP THIS ONLY HAS A LITTLE OVER 100 NOTES BUT HE THINKS HE’S INTERNET FAMOUS NOW
i love reading ”’tween”’ magazines purely because of the section where they send in their embarrassing moments
i was in a restaurant and i saw my crush who was looking like a total hottie but then i slipped and fell into his lap omg! blush! soooo cringey! - Sally, 13
and i’m like
OH SALLY WHAT ARE YOU LIKE
from now on I’m going to convey sarcasm over the internet by typing like this
oh wow look how sarcastic that looks
that actually does look really sarcastic though. this is revolutionary
DEAR GOD SOMEONE HAS INVENTED THE SARCASM FONT THIS IS A TIME FOR CELEBRATION
Everyone looks worried apart from that guy on the far left..
i like how the guy on the right is so shocked he becomes a teapot
he becomes a teapot
he becomes a teapot
i cried laughing
If it’s some stranger:
If it’s my best friend:
omg they are so offended if you lick them back.
Fun fact! Dogs lick the mouths of those they consider higher in rank! So if you lick them back, they are not offended, they just don’t see themselves as higher than you and they are confused! The second dog must be a very loyal dog because he or she literally refuses to be licked back haha! I love dogs.
i started reading that expecting an angry rant and it turned out to be one of the nicest things ever.
I have reblogged this like ten times